Understanding Grief: A Christian Counselor's Guide to Navigating Loss

featuring Sarah Hanlin, LCSW

Grief is one of life's most challenging experiences, yet it's something many of us struggle to talk about openly. At Reviving Hope Christian Counseling in Fort Worth, Texas, our therapist Sarah Hanlin specializes in grief therapy that helps individuals navigate the complex journey of grief through a Christian lens. In a recent conversation, Sarah shared valuable insights about grief counseling that can help both those who are grieving and those supporting loved ones through loss.

Questions about Grief Counseling: Does Grief Follow a Predictable Pattern?

Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, Sarah explains that grief rarely follows this orderly progression.

"Grief is non-linear," Sarah notes. "You might experience depression and then move back to denial. These stages aren't clean or orderly—they're all over the place."

This understanding can bring tremendous relief to those who feel they're 'doing grief wrong' because their experience doesn't match what they've heard about in the five stages of grief.

Questions about Grief Counseling: When Grief Feels Less Heavy: Are You Forgetting Your Loved One?

One of the most common concerns Sarah encounters in her counseling practice is the guilt people feel when their grief begins to lighten.

"As we move through our grieving process, we begin to integrate our grief into our lives," Sarah explains. "The change in feelings doesn't mean you're forgetting your loved one or that you love them any less."

Sarah encourages clients to find meaningful ways to carry their loved ones with them as they move forward—whether by wearing their clothes, writing letters to the deceased, enjoying activities they enjoyed with their loved one, remembrance events, or simply remembering how proud they would be of you. For Christians who have lost believing loved ones, there's an additional comfort: "We're not just remembering them in the past tense—we're also going toward them as we move toward Heaven. They're in our futures, as well as our pasts."

Questions about Grief Counseling: Is Something Wrong If You're Not Crying? 

Not everyone grieves the same way, and Sarah emphasizes that there's no "right" way to express grief.

"Our culture is grief-ignorant," Sarah observes. "We lack education on all the ways grief can look different than just crying and being sad."

Grief can manifest differently depending on personality, circumstances, and the nature of the loss. If a loved one suffered for a long time, relief at their peace may be the predominant emotion. The key message: there's no right or wrong way to feel.

Questions about Grief Counseling: Can Christians Grieve Deeply and Still Have Hope?

Some Christians struggle with the idea that deep grief might indicate a lack of faith. Sarah addresses this misconception directly by pointing to 1 Thessalonians 4:13, which says we "do not grieve like the rest who have no hope."

"Paul isn't saying we shouldn't grieve," Sarah clarifies. "He's saying we don't need to grieve hopelessly. We can hold hope and grief at the same time."

She also points to Jesus weeping over Lazarus—even knowing He would raise him from the dead—as evidence that grief is a deeply human and godly response to loss. "If Christ grieved over His friend, then we certainly have permission to grieve over our loved ones."

Questions about Grief Counseling: What's Normal in Grief?

Many people worry that their grief symptoms are abnormal. Sarah reassures that a wide range of experiences are completely normal. Symptoms of grief often include but are not limited to:

• Loss of sleep 

• Inability to focus

• Difficulty making decisions

• Struggling to hold conversations

• Physical heaviness or exhaustion

• Relational conflict

"Because grief isn't talked about much in our culture, it can feel like you're experiencing something really weird or strange," Sarah says. "Talking to someone who can say, 'That's actually super normal,' is really helpful."

Questions about Grief Counseling: How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving?

For those wanting to help a grieving friend, spouse, or family member, Sarah offers clear guidance for offering grief support:

Do:

• Simply be present with them

• Offer specific help (like cleaning their house)

• Share Scripture thoughtfully

Don't:

• Try to solve their grief and emotional challenges that come with it.

• Say "Call me if you need anything" (they probably don't have the mental capacity to know what they need)

• Start sentences with "At least..." (as in "At least they're not in pain anymore")

• Rush them through the process

Sarah quotes actor and producer Martin Gabel: "Don't just do something. Stand there." Sometimes the most powerful support is simply being present without trying to fix anything.

Questions about Grief Counseling: Why See a Christian Counselor for Grief Therapy?

Sarah emphasizes the unique value of working with a Christian counselor during grief:

"The world grieves without hope, but we have hope. Having a mental health professional who can point you toward that hope is so important, especially since grief is such a vulnerable time."

A Christian counselor who specializes in grief therapy:

• Help you interpret your grief through a biblical lens

• Provide practical tools for the physical, emotional, and relational aspects of grief especially in bereavement counseling

• Offer education about normal grief responses

• Serve as a Christ-like witness for where you are

A Personal Perspective

Sarah brings not only clinical expertise but also personal experience to her work. Having lost her own mother in 2023, she understands firsthand the challenges of navigating grief. This combination of professional training and personal journey enables her to sit with clients with both competence and compassion.

Finding Help at Reviving Hope Christian Counseling

Sarah Hanlin, LCSW, specializes in grief counseling as well as anxiety, trauma, and working with teens (ages 13+) and adults. At Reviving Hope Christian Counseling, we believe that grief should be a counseling service that is provided—and that it can be navigated with both clinical wisdom and Christian hope on your grief journey.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief and needs bereavement counseling, crisis counseling, treatment for prolonged grief disorder, or mental health resources for grief, then Sarah is happy to help. Contact Reviving Hope Christian Counseling to schedule individual therapy with Sarah and begin your journey with grief therapy. Check out our blog for additional content.

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Sarah Hanlin is a mental health professional at Reviving Hope Christian Counseling that offers individual therapy. She specializes in grief counseling, anxiety, trauma, and working with teens (13+) and adults. She combines clinical expertise, therapeutic support, and a Christian worldview to help clients navigate life's most difficult challenges with hope and healing.