In being a counselor, I get to witness many moments of vulnerability especially when it comes to confessing sexual behavior or consumption of pornography. After all, anyone who goes to counseling knows it is a very vulnerable time during which people share hardships in their everyday life. Some people share things that they have never shared: substance addiction, gambling addiction, internet pornography addiction, sexual addiction, sexual fantasy or other behavioral addiction for the first time ever. These can lead to complicated mental health issues.

Without vulnerability, there can be no therapeutic relationship or healthy relationships. However, only one form of vulnerability, even though there is another form.

Signs of Porn Addiction: Confession Only Lens

When it comes to internet pornography addiction, most men are trying to grow in vulnerability by confessing their porn habits. This is essential, as porn addicts often struggle to hide their sexual behavior, which results in negative feelings and negative effects. After all, it is a biblical command to “…confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16). It displays courage and strength to take inventory of your life and confess the ways you have been falling short. There is freedom through transparency that can lead to freedom from pornography. It is a humble process that can feel like death as it is dying to self-image especially if you struggle with porn addiction.

Many of my guys only think of vulnerability as only confessing their sexual behaviours or times they looked at pornographic content. If you only participate in this form of vulnerability in your daily life, then it can easily result in the idea that there is nothing good about you. In fact, you can believe that confession is all you have which leads to feelings of shame furthering one's addiction to pornography or sexual relationships. You may find yourself having relationships centered on confession of porn consumption. If all you have to offer is confession of your sexual behavior, then you will live a life of hammering yourself and letting others hammer you resulting in a shame cycle due to constant guilty feelings all the time. This can result in other mental health issues. The sad truth is that you may want personal relationships, but who wants to be friends with someone who just talks about how terrible they are in their daily life? What if vulnerability isn't just confession?

Another form of Vulnerability Other than Confessing Addictive Behaviors

When we look at the Bible, there are so many examples of men who knew how flawed they were and yet courageously stood up for the truth in love. Samuel called out Saul (1 Samuel 15), Nathan called out David (2 Samuel 12), John the Baptist called out Herod (Matt. 14:1-13), Paul called out Peter (Gal. 2:11-21), Paul called out churches, and John called out false teachers (1 John). These men of God didn't have in mind that the only thing they could offer is confession. They had confidence that God was at work in them and through them. They didn't believe that freedom through transparency was the only form of vulnerability. These men were displaying another form of vulnerable by courageously standing for what is true and good for others despite pushback. The Holy Spirit made them into men of courage! They were fulfilling the command of “Be on alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13). This is why men gravitate towards stories of courageous men who stand for what is right despite great cost. Imagine what the world would look like if men never stood up for what is good and just wallowed in their guilty feeling or feelings of shame.

Breaking Free from Addiction: The Effects of Pornography Addiction

When it comes to addiction to pornography, porn addicts often believe the only thing they have to offer is confession when they can offer so much more than their compulsive behavior. The effects of pornography not only have taken a toll on their intimate relationships and sex life in marriage, but also has made them sink into deep feelings of shame. This only furthers sexual activities and sexual addiction as consumption of pornography increases due to lack of healthy habits. I can't tell you how often I hear from guys struggling with pornography consumption, "I will start taking steps of courage when I conquer my sexual behavior". What if those steps of courage actually help with their struggle with online pornography? The effects of pornography addiction are taking their ability to contribute to the world as they are enslaved to their sexual behavior.

Break Free From Addiction to Pornography: Recovery Process and Courage

Internet pornography addiction can be overcome! You can be set free from sexual addiction! You can experience freedom from pornography in Christ if you take step of courage with what your wife, family, and community—even when you face pushback. The cycle of addiction wants you to be a coward with a low quality of life because if you are then you stay in the cycle of shame. Maybe the path to recovery from internet sex addiction is not only confession, but is also living for others courageously in all aspects of life. Biblical community should guide us well in truth, how it's wielded, and error. I am advocating for the type of vulnerability that loves so deeply that it is willing to fight for truth and their neighbor's good even at great cost to self. This is a recovery process that is focused not on self, but others. Otherwise, you will only be someone who offers confession and leaves no lasting legacy for others. The only legacy you will leave behind is the effects of your porn addiction.

______

Begin the recovery process of healing from Porn addiction with a licensed therapist in Fort Worth. Find freedom from pornography by not being controlled by your sexual impulses. There is freedom through transparency, but also freedom with courageous living! Schedule a phone call to explore individual or couples therapy with a Mental Health professional.

Click the Button Below for a Free 15 Phone Call