As a Christian counselor in Fort Worth, I have the privilege of walking with guys from all walks of life. In part one of Why do Addicts Lie, we discussed from a Christian Worldview how porn addicts or anyone with addictive behavior often lie due to believing falsehoods about themselves, their relationships, and even their faith. These lies they believe have negative consequences for the people they love, themselves, and their relationship with God if they have one.

Fear of Others Leads to Lying

Another major reason pornography and sex addicts lie is fear—particularly the fear of others. This fear plays a powerful role in keeping them trapped in the cycle of addiction through secrecy and shame. Whether it be sex addiction, pornography addiction, or alcohol addiction, fear is powerful for the addicted person and consumes their daily life. The fear of discovery can further the use of addictive substances due to trying to bury the emotions. For all of us, fear fuels many different reactions especially if we get a hint of what we fear the most. What we fear the most in life will have our undivided attention. For individuals grappling with porn addiction or excessive sexual behavior, a significant fear is facing the disappointment or disapproval of those they share personal relationships with. The thought of disappointing a loved one and causing relationship issues keeps them silent trapping them into a low quality of life. The way they keep silent is by numbing through their chosen compulsive behavior thus furthering the addictive cycle that may lead to even deeper risky behaviors. Whether it is the displeasure of a spouse, friend, family, or even displeasure with self, they fear it. This displeasure keeps them from telling others for years about their struggle and makes them trade an honest life for a dishonest one that pleases others. Thus they trade short term peace for long-term consequences like a deeply hurt spouse or the alienation of family through all the lies. Like Adam and Eve, drug addicts (any addict for that matter) sow fig leaves that hide their struggle out of fear of what could happen if they were truly vulnerable (Genesis 3:7). God is not fooled though, he sees all of you (Hebrews 4:14). There is a comfort in that even though he knows that you “will love the glory that comes from man…” and yet he still loves you (John 12:43). Jesus experienced the worst kind of displeasure of others and the worst displeasure of his Father so that you don’t have to live in fear. Even though you are going to have life experiences where you displease others through your sin or even doing the right thing, Jesus has given you his righteous life, the Father enjoys you, and the Spirit can empower you to not be controlled by the fear of displeasure. If you struggle with pornography, drug addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, or betrayal trauma, you are not alone and Jesus can give you freedom through Christian counseling.

To get your journey started with a Fort Worth Christian therapist on your fear of others and living a honest life, click button below. Individual therapy, couples therapy, group therapy, or family therapy can help you find freedom in living a honest life.

For the betrayed partner, let a professional counselor in Fort Worth enter into your pain. Click the button below to fill out a form and explore Christian counseling.